In footsteps of Hanuman
Rishikesh to Sri Lanka and the gayest 'Welcome to Sri Lanka' ever
On 19.12.2012 7:00 I started my voyage to Sri Lanka. Oh my god, (I mean, oh my Shiva) this was one hell of a transfer. I left the hotel at 7:00, at 7:40 I caught a bus to Delhi, spent 6,5 hours in the bus, got off in Delhi, took subway, had a quick lunch, took a taxi to the airport, flew to Chennai (formerly known as Madras), collected my baggage and changed planes in Chennai (by the way, Chennai’s airport is definitely the worst airport I have ever been to, I have been to many), flew to Colombo and at 3:40 next day when I figured out my options, I decided to sleep on a bench of Colombo airport. Yes, finally, the genuine homeless style :-)
The bus ride from Rishikesh to Delhi was funnier than ride on a roller-coaster - I kept on jumping up half a meter every 30 seconds while sitting on seat, horn was blowing 80% of the time, the bus looked like a dumpster on wheels, but at least it was not too crowded. The view from the window was totally boring – flat, overcrowded, never ending sub-urban sprawl during all 234km from Rishikesh to Delhi (yes, 234km in 6,5 hours) except for the first 1km in Rishikesh, when I was blessed with sight of 100 Indians taking their morning crap in dried bed of river (probably running during monsoon period). Don’t even ask me, what they used for cleaning their asses, there was no water and of course no toilet paper either. Welcome to India, the real third world. And we – the Europeans – have the guts to call these times “crisis”?
As I was approaching Delhi I felt severe agony of getting into a large town. I really don’t like these large Asian towns – crowded, chaotic, dirty and full of armies of rickshaw/tuk-tuk drivers and other vultures and vampires. Tarzan no love city, Tarzan love nature, Tarzan no happy in Delhi. I was glad to leave right away.
Entering Sri Lanka was very entertaining. I obtained visa on arrival at the airport without any problems and then I was sent to an immigration officer. And then, the following communication with that handsome guy (at least I'm sure that he thought he was handsome), dressed in white uniform took place:
Officer: “Hello. Passport please”.
I handed over the passport.
Officer: “Are you travelling alone?”
Me: “Yes, alone”
Officer: “Hmm, maybe you could find yourself a nice Sri Lankan girl here… “
Me (laughing): “Yeah, maybe”
Officer: “Or maybe a boy… Which one do you prefer???”.
Me: “Girls. I prefer girls”
Office: “Oh, are you sure? We have so many nice boys over here. Maybe you should try”
Me: (raising eyebrow) “No thanks, I think I will stay with the girls”
Officer: “Oh, but why? You should try boys. I like you” and he smiled the gayest smile ever
Me: “Sure, I will consider that”
Officer: “Have a nice holiday” and then he winked the gayest wink ever.
What the fuck? Gay immigration officer trying to seduce me at the entry point to the country? What kind of country is this? We will see...
