Curious police investigation in South America's colonial jewel
Cartagena de Indias - too much beauty, too many touts and hawkers, and too much sex in the room (not for me, though)
Full name: Cartagena de Indias. Together with Panama and Havana it used to be the pride and joy of Spanish colonial rule in the Caribbean and the Americas as such. The plundered treasures from the South America where dispatched from here. Cartagena de Indias had such a military and political strategic significance that to protect it the Spaniards built here the largest fortress anywhere in the world, outside of Europe. The mighty fortress still stands today although the tourists have exchanged pirates as the primary invasion force.
The city is drop-dead gorgeous - a true colonial treasure chest. Protective walls build by the Spaniards still circle the old town and the impenetrable fortress and its cannons watch over all of that. Cartagena is a world-class architecture beauty. But the crowds are also world-class, and so are the touts and hawkers. As beautiful as it is, it soon gets a bit annoying with all the dollar hunters out there on the streets. But it was a dream come true for me to see this city, and witnessing a place that has changed little since the times of pirate raids and English invasions against Spanish dominions.
Another thing about Cartagena I will never forget is the weather. I have significant experience from staying in the tropics, but this was unbearable! So hot and humid, that it takes just 100m of walking on the streets and your T-shirt if completely wet. One of the days (I stayed 3), I had 4 cold water showers BEFORE 10:00am! No wonder that the climate was considered as part of city’s defensive system against English invasion forces. The Spanish governors knew that they just had to manage to keep the English armies outside of the city walls for 2 weeks and half of the English soldiers would die from the heat and diseases. I almost did as well :-/
So much for the city, now let’s get to the most entertaining part: police investigation of sex intercourse in a hostel room, with me being the main eye witness :-)
Upon late afternoon arrival to Cartagena, I checked into a random hostel and got a place in 8 bed dorm. I shared the room 2 girls from Argentina, one guy from USA and an Australian couple. All fine, and after a tropical evening walk and couple of cooling beers I went to sleep. By that time the Australian couple and another Aussie friends of theirs were having a trashy, loud “party” in the patio of the hostel, i.e. were drunk like shit and continuing to drink. Probably when they ran out of alcohol they disappeared (to get more booze in bars, I guess) and I fell asleep. 2 hours later or so, they storm into the room, the girl bleeding from her knees, turn on the light and wake up everybody by their drunk loud talking. Somebody tells them to turn off the light (maybe it was me), so they do, but they continue to talk and yell. And then, few minutes after they finally shut up, another set of sounds appear: sound bed creaking, and sound of one body banging another. They were fucking on an upper bunk, so the whole bed most moving and making sounds (as if the sound of dick going in and out of the pussy wasn’t enough)! As I slept on upper bunk next to them, I turned around and there I saw it, in my face, a silhouette of legs on shoulders and silhouette of dick sliding in and out. Amazing :-DDDD I turned away and tried to ignore it (I got bit used to people fucking in hostel rooms in Australia, where it happens regularly), but the Argentinian girls couldn’t cope with it and started commenting something like “Are they for real? I can’t believe this!” and soon left the room. 30 minutes and 2 orgasms later they finally stopped fucking, the Argentinians returned to the room and all seemed fine, until… half an hour later a well-known sounds start again. Another round! They might have been drunk like shit but their appetite was working just fine! I shouted “Nooooo, not again!!!!” but that didn’t disturb them at all. The Argentinians got really mad, started yelling something, turned on the light and left the room for good (and as I turned around, as they switched on the lights, this time I was forced to see a “perfect porn still life”, with 2 surprised faces and one dick halfway inside a pussy). After few moments of consideration, the couple turned off the light and continued doing their mating ritual, which I couldn’t cope with anymore either and I joined the Argentinians at the patio. The dawn was breaking by then and when I returned to the room all was finally quiet so I finally went to sleep, but that didn’t last too long, because soon the Australians went out of the room, and massive argument started at the patio: the Argentinian girls versus Australian fuckers, each ones blaming the others for being motherfuckers. After some minutes of sleep – it was 8:00 am by then, the hostel manager appears and tells me that the Argentinian girls had left without paying, because they refused to pay because they couldn’t sleep at all (which was completely true, I slept maybe 2 hours that night, and those were the 2 hours before the Australians appeared). The US guy had also left without paying, for the very same reason. So now the manager wanted the Australians to pay their bills, because they woke up the whole hostel by their fucking and drunk noisiness. The Australians of course didn’t want to pay - the girl supposedly didn’t even remember having sex, and she had a wonderful, logical explanation why it was not her fault: “It’s not my fault. I was so drunk that I don’t even remember doing it!”. As the manager didn’t speak English and the Australians didn’t speak Spanish I had to translate this amazing discussion. Finally I was called as a witness of what happened, and I confirmed that the Argentinians where right, that the Aussies were noisy, rude and annoying, I plus I reminded the Australians that they didn’t fuck just once, but twice, so it all lasted for looong time :-) That turned the manager really mad. The Aussies, still thinking that it was their god given right to fuck in a hostel room (“if another people don’t want their room to be noisy, they should get a private room” – was another perfectly logical explanation they gave), refused to pay anything, upon which the manager decided to call police. Indeed, the police came and the investigation of the sexual intercourse started!!! I was called to explain to the police what happened and act as a translator between the Colombian justice and Australian fuckers. Later, I actually saw the manager and the police checking on internet whether it is permitted to fuck in a hostel room :-DDDD Finally, the police decided that the Australians didn’t have the right to wake up the whole hostel by their sexual adventures, and that their behavior was result of financial loss of the hostel and requested the Australians to pay the bill. The fuckers, already realizing they were gone lose this “lawsuit” tried to sneak out of the hostel, only to be caught by the police who told them that they “cannot do whatever they want to do, and if they think they can, they can do it in Australia, but not here” and so the Australians finally paid the bill, shouted few rounds of “fucking hostel” and left. The total bill for the 3 people who left without paying and whose bill had to be paid by the Australians was 24 USD. All this mess for 24 USD, which in Australia doesn’t even buy you a pack of cigarettes. The manager thanked me for my help with this peculiar police investigation and for being the translator. And then I realized the truth: there were 6 of us in the room that night. 2 of them were fucking all the time, and 4 of us couldn’t sleep because of that. Out of those 4 people, 3 left without paying. The only one who paid was me! I was the loser of the day! Some people at least fucked like crazy the whole night, others couldn’t sleep but at least they didn’t pay, but me – I didn’t have any sex, I couldn’t sleep and yet I paid (because I was the only one who paid up-front when I arrived)!!! FUCK! “At least I have some rum” I told to the manager and I opened a bottle of rum and downed my mystery. What a night! :-D
